EMOTIONS · THE BODY · YOUR QUESTIONS
Frequently Asked Questions
If you’re beginning to explore the relationship between emotions, physical symptoms, patterns and the way you respond to life, you probably have questions.
Here you’ll find answers to some of the questions I’m most often asked about emotional processing, emotional triggers, physical symptoms and the Release Process®.
Some answers are simple. Others will take you deeper.
Emotional Processing
Understand what it means to process an emotion, how it’s different from simply understanding it, and how to stop suppressing what you feel.
Processing an emotion means allowing yourself to fully experience what you feel, rather than suppressing it, analysing it or trying to make it go away.
An emotion is something to be experienced. You might notice it as a physical sensation in your body, an urge to move, cry, make sound or express something that wasn’t expressed at the time.
For me, processing also involves listening to what the emotion is communicating. Once the emotion has been experienced, there is often information underneath it: something you needed, a boundary that was crossed, something you didn’t say, or something you now understand differently.
This is the basis of the Release Process®, the four-part methodology I created for identifying, experiencing, understanding and integrating emotions.
Emotional processing is the experience of allowing an emotion to move through you rather than continually suppressing, avoiding or intellectualising it.
You can know why you’re angry, understand where your sadness came from or recognise that something triggers you and still not have fully experienced the emotion itself.
This is why insight and emotional processing aren’t necessarily the same thing.
Emotional processing brings your attention out of simply thinking about an experience and into noticing what you’re actually feeling and experiencing in your body.
Learn more about HOW TO PROCESS EMOTIONS →
One of the clearest signs is that your relationship with the experience changes.
You may still remember what happened, but recalling it doesn’t necessarily create the same emotional charge. You may feel less reactive when something similar happens, have more space before responding, or notice that a pattern that once felt automatic no longer has the same hold over you.
Processing doesn’t mean you will never feel sadness, anger, fear or another emotion again. Emotions are part of being human.
The difference is that you’re able to experience what arises without needing to suppress it, become consumed by it or repeatedly carry the same unresolved emotional charge forward.
I also explore the 4 milestones that indication you have processed your emotions in my book Healing Beyond The Diagnosis.
Understanding happens largely through the mind. Processing involves actually experiencing the emotion.
You might understand exactly why you’re angry with someone, recognise where a childhood pattern originated or be able to explain why a particular situation triggers you. That awareness can be incredibly valuable, but it doesn’t necessarily mean the emotion itself has been experienced and processed.
This is something I see often in people who have already done a lot of personal development, therapy or emotional work. They have enormous insight into themselves, yet the same reactions or patterns continue to appear.
That gap between knowing and experiencing is one of the ideas I explore in my free Missing Link masterclass.
Start by noticing what you do when an emotion arises.
Suppression isn’t always a conscious decision. You may distract yourself, stay busy, rationalise what happened, tell yourself you shouldn’t feel that way, immediately look for a solution or simply disconnect from what you’re feeling.
Instead of trying to get rid of the emotion, begin by giving yourself permission to notice it.
What are you feeling? Where do you notice it in your body? What happens if you give the sensation your attention without immediately trying to change it?
Learning to experience emotions is a skill. If you’ve spent years suppressing them, it can take practice to become comfortable allowing them to be felt.
HOW TO PROCESS EMOTIONS → article.
Sometimes an emotion keeps returning because the experience underneath it hasn’t been fully processed.
You may have understood what happened, talked about it or tried to move on, while part of the emotional experience remains unresolved. A present-day situation can then activate something that feels familiar, which is why a reaction can sometimes seem much bigger than the situation in front of you.
This doesn’t mean every repeated emotion is unresolved. Emotions are also appropriate responses to what’s happening in our lives now.
The useful question isn’t simply, “How do I stop feeling this?” but “What is this emotion asking me to notice, experience or understand?”
Yes. You don’t always need to know the story behind an emotion before you can experience it.
Sometimes you’ll notice a sensation, emotion or reaction in your body without immediately understanding why it’s there. Rather than searching for an explanation first, you can begin with what you’re experiencing in the present moment.
As you allow yourself to feel it, more information may emerge. A memory, image, thought, person or earlier experience might come to mind. Or you may simply experience the emotion without ever identifying one specific origin.
In the Release Process®, we begin with what is present rather than requiring you to intellectually work out where everything came from first.
NEW TO EMOTIONAL PROCESSING?
Start with The Missing Link
In this free masterclass, I explore the piece I believe is often missing when we understand ourselves intellectually but continue to experience the same emotional and physical patterns.
NEW TO EMOTIONAL PROCESSING?
Start with The Missing Link
In this free masterclass, I explore the piece I believe is often missing when we understand ourselves intellectually but continue to experience the same emotional and physical patterns.
Emotions & The Body
Explore how emotional experiences can feel physical, why you might notice sensations in different areas of your body, and what your body may be communicating through the way you feel.
Yes. Emotions are not experienced only as thoughts. They can also be experienced physically through changes in sensation, muscle tension, breathing, heart rate, digestion, energy and the way we hold or move our bodies.
You may already recognise this in everyday experiences: a tight chest when you’re anxious, a lump in your throat when you’re holding back tears, tension through your jaw when you’re angry, or butterflies in your stomach when you’re nervous.
In my work, I encourage people to become curious about these physical experiences rather than viewing the body and emotions as completely separate.
Learning to listen to what you’re experiencing in your body can become an important part of emotional processing.
Emotional experiences can have physical components, and some people notice that particular symptoms, sensations or areas of tension seem to appear alongside emotional stress or unresolved experiences.
My approach is to become curious about what the body may be communicating rather than assuming every physical symptom has one specific emotional meaning.
A symptom can have many contributing factors, so emotional exploration doesn’t replace appropriate medical assessment or treatment. It can, however, offer another way of exploring your experience, particularly when you notice recurring patterns between what is happening emotionally and what is happening physically.
Read about the CONNECTION BETWEEN PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS AND EMOTIONS →
I tend to use the language of emotions being “stored in the body” to describe emotional experiences that haven’t been fully experienced or processed.
There isn’t a simple map where one emotion is universally stored in one particular body part. Two people can experience the same emotion very differently. One person may notice fear in their stomach, another in their chest and another through their whole body.
Rather than starting with a predetermined meaning, I teach people to notice where they experience an emotion in their own body and then become curious about what is there.
There is however body maps which I have created that can indicate what sorts of experiences and emotions are stored in different areas of the body. You can find this in The Gateway Experience self-paced course.
Because an emotional experience isn’t purely intellectual.
Think about what happens when you’re embarrassed and your face becomes hot, when fear changes your breathing, when grief creates heaviness in your chest or when excitement gives you butterflies. Your body is participating in the emotional experience.
This is one reason I bring attention to physical sensation when teaching emotional processing. Instead of only asking, “Why do I feel this way?”, you can also ask:
“What am I actually experiencing in my body right now?”
That shift can move you from analysing an emotion to beginning to experience it.
Read about the CONNECTION BETWEEN PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS AND EMOTIONS →
Body maps and common emotional associations can provide useful prompts for exploration, but I wouldn’t use them as a diagnosis or assume that pain in one area must mean one particular emotion.
Context matters.
I prefer to ask what your body, symptom or sensation brings up for you. What was happening when it began? What does that part of your body represent to you? What emotions arise when you give it your attention?
The aim isn’t to memorise a dictionary of body parts and emotions. It’s to become better at listening to your own experience.
Many people I work with report changes in physical symptoms as they explore and process emotional experiences. However, I don’t treat emotional processing as a guaranteed cure for a particular symptom or diagnosis.
My approach is to explore whether there may be an emotional component worth listening to, while remaining open to medical care and other appropriate forms of support.
Rather than asking only, “How do I get rid of this symptom?”, I often invite people to become curious about a different question:
“If my body could communicate with me through this experience, what might it be asking me to notice?”
That curiosity is central to The Art of Listening to Your Body.
No. Emotional processing isn’t a replacement for appropriate medical assessment, diagnosis or treatment.
You can explore the emotional aspects of what you’re experiencing while continuing to make informed decisions about your physical health with suitably qualified healthcare professionals.
I don’t believe you have to choose between listening to your body emotionally and receiving conventional or other forms of care.
My work offers another lens through which you can explore your experience. What you choose to do medically remains a decision between you and your healthcare providers.
Emotional Triggers & Repeating Patterns
Explore why certain situations, people or experiences can create such strong emotional reactions, why familiar patterns can continue even when you understand them, and what your triggers may be inviting you to notice.
A trigger is often a present-day experience that activates a much bigger emotional response.
Sometimes the intensity makes complete sense for what’s happening now. At other times, your reaction may feel disproportionate to the situation in front of you.
When that happens, I become curious about what else might be present.
The situation may be touching an emotion, belief or earlier experience that hasn’t been fully processed. Rather than viewing the trigger as something you need to get rid of, you can begin to use it as information.
What am I feeling? Where do I experience it in my body? What does this situation remind me of? What am I wanting to say, do or express?
A trigger can become an opportunity to discover what is asking for your attention.
Because understanding yourself and processing what you feel aren’t necessarily the same thing.
You may have spent years exploring your childhood, relationships, beliefs and behavioural patterns. You might know exactly why you react the way you do and still find yourself having the same reaction.
That doesn’t make the work you’ve already done irrelevant. That awareness can be incredibly valuable.
But there may be another layer to explore: has the emotion you’ve identified actually been experienced and processed, or have you primarily understood it?
This distinction between understanding and experiencing is one of the reasons I created the Release Process®.
The aim isn’t to reach a point where nothing ever affects you. Emotional reactions are part of being human.
What can change is the amount of space you have between experiencing something and automatically reacting to it.
Begin by noticing what happens when you’re triggered. What emotion appears? Where do you experience it physically? What do you immediately want to do: defend yourself, withdraw, fix, control, please, attack or escape?
Instead of immediately acting from that reaction, emotional processing gives you an opportunity to experience what is there first.
Over time, you may begin to notice that experiences that once created an immediate reaction no longer carry the same emotional charge.
Insight doesn’t automatically create change.
You can understand where a pattern came from, recognise it while it’s happening and even know exactly what you’d prefer to do differently, yet still find yourself repeating it.
One reason can be that you’ve understood the pattern intellectually without fully experiencing the emotion connected with it.
This is particularly common in people who have done a lot of personal development. There can be an enormous amount of self-awareness, but the same relationship dynamics, reactions or behaviours continue to appear.
Rather than asking only, “Why do I do this?”, I encourage you to also explore, “What do I feel when this happens?”
That can open an entirely different doorway into the pattern.
Different people can touch different parts of our emotional experience.
Something about the way a person communicates, behaves or relates to you may remind you of an earlier relationship or experience. They may challenge a boundary, reflect something you struggle to express yourself, or activate an emotion you’ve learned to suppress.
This doesn’t mean every difficult interaction is secretly about your past. Sometimes someone is behaving in a way you genuinely don’t like.
The opportunity is to separate what belongs to the present situation from what else may have been activated within you.
Instead of making the trigger entirely about them or entirely about you, become curious about both.
There isn’t one universal answer.
A trigger might show you where you need a boundary. It might reveal anger you haven’t expressed, grief you haven’t allowed yourself to feel, something you deeply desire, or an earlier experience that still carries emotional charge.
Sometimes it may simply show you that you don’t like what’s happening right now.
Rather than assigning a predetermined meaning to a trigger, I use it as a starting point for curiosity.
What am I feeling? What does this remind me of? What do I want? What am I not saying? What might this experience be inviting me to notice?
The answer needs to come from your experience, rather than somebody else’s interpretation of what your trigger “means”.
The Release Process ®
Discover the four-part methodology I created to help you experience and process emotions, receive the message within an experience, and integrate what you discover.
The Release Process® is the four-part emotional processing methodology I created through my clinical work, personal experience and years of working with people exploring the relationship between their emotions, bodies and patterns.
It provides a framework for moving beyond simply talking about or understanding an emotion and into actually experiencing it.
The process involves working with a memory, event, or even a body part/inamnimate objects experiencing and processing the emotion, receiving the information or message within the experience, and integrating what you’ve discovered.
It’s not about forcing an emotion to disappear. It’s about learning how to experience what is already there and listen to what it may be communicating.
The Release Process® brings your attention to what you’re actually experiencing rather than beginning with an intellectual explanation.
You might start with an emotion, physical sensation, symptom, trigger, memory or situation.
From there, I guide you through four parts: identifying what is present, allowing yourself to experience and process it, listening for the message or information within the experience, and integrating what you’ve discovered.
You work through a verbal dialogue.
Sometimes the process brings an obvious insight. Sometimes the shift is primarily experiential.
The intention isn’t to manufacture an answer. It’s to create enough space to experience what is there and see what emerges.
The best place to feel into the power of the Release Process ® is through my book Healing Beyond The Diagnosis this interweaves real clients stories and the magic that happens as a result of the process.
The Release Process® moves through four parts:
1. Utilise your emergency release button
Create an initial release and give yourself space to experience what is present.
2. Speak what you want to share
Allow yourself to express what needs to be expressed, and allow realisation and responsibility to land.
3. Open to receive from the other
Create space to receive another perspective, allowing compassion and understanding to emerge.
4. Connect with your inner child or younger self
Offer the support, understanding and healing that may have been needed at the time.
Each part takes you deeper into the emotional experience, moving from release and expression into understanding, compassion and support.
What I find fascinating is that when I’m working with someone directly, I can often see through the process exactly why certain issues and challenges are showing up in their life, and why they may not be able to receive what they desire.
Yes. One of the reasons I teach the Release Process® is so you can develop the ability to work with your own emotional experiences rather than always needing somebody else to interpret them for you.
Like any skill, it becomes easier with practice.
When you’re beginning, having guidance can help you recognise when you’re experiencing an emotion versus analysing it, avoiding it or trying to make something happen.
Once you are experienced with the process, it can become something you return to whenever an emotion, trigger or experience asks for your attention.
There are two places you can learn the basic foundation of the process and start releasing triggers from people in your life.
THE GATEWAY EXPERIENCE→ a self-paced course.
HEALING BEYOND THE DIAGNOSIS → book.
No.
Sometimes you know immediately that you’re angry, sad, afraid or frustrated. Other times you simply know that something feels uncomfortable, heavy, tight or “off”.
You can begin there.
Physical sensation can provide an entry point into emotional processing without requiring you to name the emotion perfectly first.
As you give the experience your attention, the emotion or information connected with it may become clearer.
There is no test you need to pass before you begin. Start with what you can notice.
A physical sensation or symptom can be used as a starting point for emotional exploration.
Rather than immediately deciding what the symptom “means”, you can bring your attention to what you’re experiencing and become curious about what arises.
That might include emotions, memories, images, thoughts or associations. Sometimes nothing obvious appears immediately.
Importantly, using a physical symptom as an entry point for emotional exploration doesn’t mean assuming the symptom has an emotional cause or replacing appropriate medical assessment or treatment.
It’s simply another way of listening to your experience.
No.
Although people often discover emotional processing because they’re struggling with anger, grief, fear, frustration or another uncomfortable experience, the Release Process® isn’t limited to emotions we consider “negative”.
You can also use it to deepen your experience of joy, excitement, love, desire, gratitude and other expansive emotions. Many people are surprised to discover that they have learned to suppress positive emotions too.
The broader intention is to increase your capacity to experience what you feel, rather than only becoming better at getting rid of emotions you don’t want.
There isn’t a fixed amount of time.
Some emotional experiences shift quickly. Others unfold in layers or become clearer over time. Saying that when you get the hang of the Release Process ® and learn the structure you can work through experiences and emotions in as little as a few minutes. One often takes longer to speak about processing than the actual process itself.
I don’t approach emotional processing with the expectation that you should be able to “clear” something within a certain number of minutes. Trying to rush the process can become another way of attempting to get rid of what you feel.
Give yourself the space to experience what’s present without measuring whether you’re doing it quickly enough.
The goal isn’t speed. It’s becoming increasingly able to meet and experience your emotions when they arise.
Physical Symptoms & Emotional Healing
Explore some of the questions I’m most often asked about the relationship between emotional experiences and physical symptoms, and where emotional processing can sit alongside appropriate medical care and other approaches.
I don’t think it’s helpful to assume that every physical symptom has a single emotional cause.
The body is simple and complex at the same time. Physical symptoms can involve many factors, and appropriate medical investigation and care remain important.
At the same time, my experience has led me to place significant importance on exploring the emotional component of what we’re experiencing.
Instead of deciding in advance that a symptom is either “physical” or “emotional”, I prefer curiosity and guidance to come to the answer.
What else was happening when it began? What emotions are present? Are there patterns around when it becomes stronger or quieter? What happens when you give the experience your attention?
Emotional exploration can sit alongside other forms of care rather than requiring you to choose one explanation.
Emotional processing is where I personally place a great deal of attention because I believe unresolved emotional experiences can be an important piece of what people are experiencing.
That doesn’t mean you need to reject conventional medicine, physical therapies or other modalities.
My preference is to explore the emotional layer early rather than leaving it until every other avenue has been exhausted. At the same time people often come to me having exhausted all avenues and find find it easier to surrender to the process of emotional work.
You can listen to your body emotionally while also making informed choices about what other forms of assessment, treatment or support are appropriate for you.
You can read or listen to Chapter 3 of my book Healing Beyond The Diagnosis which explores embracing conventional, alternative and energetic healing and the 3 stages and phases of healing.
No. Emotional processing isn’t a replacement for medical diagnosis, assessment or treatment.
My work explores another dimension of a person’s experience: their emotions, patterns, relationships, responses and what their physical experience may bring to their attention.
That exploration can happen alongside conventional medical care and other appropriate forms of support.
If you’re experiencing new, persistent, severe or concerning physical symptoms, seek appropriate medical advice rather than assuming they are emotional.
Some people report changes in their physical experience while doing emotional work, and many of my clients originally found my work because they were curious about the relationship between what they felt emotionally and what they experienced physically.
I don’t promise that processing a particular emotion will resolve a particular symptom.
Instead, I teach people how to become curious about their bodies and emotional experiences and notice what emerges when they begin listening differently.
Sometimes the most important shift isn’t immediately in the symptom itself. It may be in the person’s relationship with their body, their emotions, their boundaries, their choices or the way they’re living.
Yes. I offer a specific private coaching pathway called MetaCancer for people who want to explore the emotional and personal dimensions of their experience alongside their medical care.
This work isn’t cancer treatment and doesn’t replace oncology or medical care. It’s a space to explore what the experience is bringing forward emotionally, including relationships, identity, patterns, fear, choices and the way you want to move through this chapter of your life.
Because this is specialised private work, I keep it separate from my general emotional-processing programs.
Learning The Work & Working With Jin Ong
Whether you’re completely new to emotional processing or ready to go deeper, explore the different ways you can learn this work, experience the Release Process® and work with me.
Start with The Missing Link to Activate Healing masterclass.
It’s my free masterclass designed to help you understand the difference between knowing about your emotions and actually processing them.
It will introduce you to the way I think and feel about emotions, the body and why the same patterns can continue even when you already have a great deal of self-awareness.
From there, you can decide whether you’d like to explore the work more deeply.
Yes.
Emotional processing is a skill that can be learned, practised and increasingly used in your everyday life.
Some people prefer to begin independently, while others find it easier to learn with guidance, particularly if they’re accustomed to analysing emotions rather than experiencing them. I am however a huge advocate to emotional work with support as it can go much deeper than just the process. This work is a journey and it’s not intended to keep you in forever processing your emotions. Emotional work is the foundation to manifesting a life that you desire.
If you want to explore my work independently, The Gateway Experience is the self-paced place to begin.
If you want live facilitation and a deeper group experience, Release is my signature program.
That’s more common than you might think, particularly if you’ve spent years being capable, staying busy, thinking your way through problems or learning that certain emotions weren’t safe or acceptable to express.
Don’t force yourself to feel something dramatic.
Start with what you can notice.
Perhaps there’s pressure in your chest, tension in your jaw, heaviness in your stomach or simply a sense that you want to move away from the experience.
That is information too.
Learning to feel emotions isn’t about performing emotion correctly. It’s about gradually becoming more willing and able to notice your experience.
You don’t need to have the perfect word for an emotion before you can begin.
Instead of asking yourself to identify exactly what you’re feeling, start with what you know.
Where do you notice something in your body? Does it feel heavy, tight, hot, cold, restless, numb or uncomfortable? Is there an urge to move, speak, cry, withdraw or do something else?
Sometimes the emotional language becomes clearer once you stop trying to solve it intellectually and begin paying attention to the experience itself.
You can start with sensation and allow the rest to emerge.
The Gateway Experience is my self-paced introduction to doing this work for yourself.
It brings together teachings and practical experiences designed to help you understand emotional processing, become more aware of what you’re experiencing in your body and begin using the tools in your own time.
It’s a good next step if you’ve watched The Missing Link masterclass and want to go deeper without joining a live program.
Release is my signature live group program for learning and experiencing the Release Process® with my guidance.
Rather than only consuming information, you have the opportunity to experience the work, receive feedback on your releases and learn how to apply it to what is showing up in your own life.
It’s designed for people who want to go deeper than self-paced learning and experience emotional processing within a live, supported environment.
Yes.
I work privately with a small number of clients who want a more individualised level of support.
My private work goes beyond learning emotional processing alone. Depending on what you’re navigating, we may explore emotional patterns, relationships, identity, health experiences, decisions, leadership, business, desire and what you’re creating next.
Private coaching sits on DrJinOng.com because that site is the home of my personal work, private coaching and retreats.
EXPLORE 1:1 COACHING WITH JIN →
Yes.
I run intimate retreats in New Zealand and internationally.
My retreats are designed to create space away from everyday life for deeper conversation, connection, emotional work, vision, desire and exploring what comes next.
The format and location vary, from experiences at home with me and my horses in New Zealand (20 minutes from Wanaka) to international group retreats.
About Jin Ong
Jin Ong is the creator of the Release Process® and founder of The Art of Listening to Your Body. With a background in osteopathy, Western acupuncture, herbal medicine and psychosomatic therapy, Jin’s work explores the relationship between emotions, physical symptoms and the patterns that shape how we experience life.
“When you don’t hear the whispers, your body, your life will scream.”
~ JIN ONG
About Jin Ong
Jin Ong is the creator of the Release Process® and founder of The Art of Listening to Your Body. With a background in osteopathy, Western acupuncture, herbal medicine and psychosomatic therapy, Jin’s work explores the relationship between emotions, physical symptoms and the patterns that shape how we experience life.
“When you don’t hear the whispers, your body, your life will scream.”
Still have a question?
If you’ve explored the FAQs and you’re still not sure where to begin or which pathway is right for you, get in touch.